Fool me once

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life when you suddenly think..... hang on.... something isnt right!
Well..... i realised after seeing a few things that i have been the biggest fool in the world!
Not only have i now become emotionally detached from everything and anyone, but now i pretty much have learnt NEVER to trust anyone or anything, because most things people say are a LIE!!
Yes folks ..... "the cake is a lie" and EVERYTHING associated to it!
One must be an excellent actor to draw someone in so much.
I now realised how easy it was to go from everyday contact to NOTHING. And now even the slightest contact is either VERY forced or the lie is extended.
I lost myself in someone after i had spent 30+ years promising myself i wouldnt. I even managed to get married and have 2 kids without opening myself up totally.
*sighs* I now know why i promised myself i never would.
How much pain and heartache can 1 person put another through before they stop, look back and realise with regret how bad they have been!
To see my best friend go through a similar yet NOT as supposidly BAD outcome based disease as someone else, to be told millions of lies about it and then months later see the other person looking happy and healthy as if NOTHING is wrong...... i feel like a MEGA fool!!
And then to be told there is still love and no one else, only to see someone well known prefessing their love over and over..... and the once constant invites to join things, websites, photos, apps, etc..... to NOTHING...yet this person is always just another follower. MMHMMMM ....just a friend, Riiiight!!
All i ever wanted was a little honesty..... something that could make me believe that humanity DID have a soul.
I was right...... i live in a souless society, that uses people to get what they need and dumps them instantly in their deepest darkest hour!
So perhaps i should be thanking you...... for destryoing me, or helping me rebuild the now impenetrable walls!!
........Always
Sun
xoxo